The Right to Wear White
Purity Retreat for Mothers and Daughters
Purity Retreat for Mothers and Daughters
Power Words
Everyone enjoys a fitting reply; it is wonderful to say the right thing at the right time! Proverbs 15:23 NLT
One of the simplest ways to change your self-talk is to change what you say. God says we carry life and death in the power of our tongues. He not only meant what we say to others but what we say to ourselves. How many times a day do you criticize yourself? We very seldom take the time to listen to what we are saying to ourselves, it just becomes habit. Make a mental note to listen and change the comments that are negative.There is a game we play whenever our granddaughter comes for dinner. We start with highs (what was good about your day), lows (what was rough), and then we take time to compliment everyone individually. There are times where it is difficult, especially when new people are over, but when we are finished it is always enjoyed. The cutest part is when our granddaughter tells her grandparents not to get all “lovey dovey.” Even though she says that, you know what an impact it makes when her grandparents genuinely speak loving words to each other. Make this a part of your dinner time, or at least spend time complimenting everyone close to you. Then watch that person soar.
“Talk Time”
Mother’s Question: Below are some words that can alter the way you feel or react to certain things. Discuss these with your daughter.
Daughter’s Question: Ask your mom what words she needs to change.
Agreement: We (your signatures) ______________ & ______________ agree to make more of an effort to compliment ourselves and those around us.Prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, help us to speak to ourselves as You would – with love and compassion. Amen.
Positive Talk
And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.Philippians 4:8-9 NLT
Self-esteem will come from a place deep inside your soul. It is there that you believe God has created you perfectly and wonderfully and that He delights in you, His creation. However, before we can change our hearts we need to change our thoughts. You need to talk to yourself the way you would talk to those you love. Think about it. Would you say to your best friend, “Man you are ugly and fat!”? Now, if you would not say this to a friend why is it okay to say it to yourself? Jesus’ top commandment was to love your God with all your heart and soul and love your neighbour as yourself. So let me say this: If you think you can really love someone but you do not love yourself first, how can that be?Our thought process is changed through visual experience and the spoken word. Today I want to work on the spoken word. First things first, I want both of you to take a piece of paper and I want you to list all the great qualities (make sure you also look at characteristics and virtues) the other has. Moms for Daughters and then the other way around. Now read those words slowly and clearly to each other. I’ll bet you didn’t expect someone to think so highly of you. Do not lose that paper; put it on your mirror and every time you look in that mirror read off that list. Remember, it is important to take the time to build each other’s self-esteem. Find something every day that you can say that is positive. Just a thought, moms: when I look back at raising my son I was sure that my call was to help him be a better person. Someone I could say I was proud to be mine. We see ourselves through our kids. We look for in them all the characteristics, shortcomings and habits we now don’t like in ourselves. Then we go about trying to fix those. Relax. Let love, patient instruction, God and life lessons change those things. Your most important job is to find the gifts and positive traits in your children and build them up.
“Talk Time”
Mother’s Question: What are some of the areas you criticize yourself in? Why do you think you do that and what do you think you can do to change that behaviour?
Daughter’s Question: Same as Mom: What are some of the areas you criticize yourself in? Why do you think you do that and what do you think you can do to change that behaviour?
Agreement: We (your signatures) ______________ & ______________ agree to be more loving toward ourselves and to accept each other for who we are by building up each other’s good qualities.
Prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, when we struggle with who we are show us what you think about us. Amen.
Not Judging Others
Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged. Matthew 7:1-2 NLT
While we are on this topic of not comparing, do you realize that in comparing ourselves to others we are actually judging the other person? “Ah, yes,” you may say. “But I am putting myself down and bringing them up.” Really, any kind of thought about another person can be a form of judgement on them, especially when it creates jealousy. “Why do they have what I want?” Is that a loving thought? No. Let’s look at judgement a little further and see what damage can be done. I’ll start by asking you this: Do you desire people to love you unconditionally? I would hazard a guess and say yes. Unconditional love to me, means that you love the inner person (the heart); not the actions or the outward appearance. Criticism, or as the Bible calls it, ‘judging’, comes in different forms. While it is true that some criticism is helpful – we call this kind of criticism ‘constructive criticism’ (I like to call it ‘feedback for growth’) – most criticism is destructive. How does judging destroy? Think of it this way: our words are very powerful and we actually use our words to paint a picture of who we are. There are two scenarios with this; first is when you criticize a person to their face and second is behind their back. The first one is saying things to people directly. Everything you say to someone, negative or positive, sticks; even if we think we can just brush harsh words away. The day may come when you can brush those harsh words off but these lies also get into our hearts. These lies will usually smack you in the face when you are not feeling so strong or when you are in a similar situation as when those lies first occurred. Those words come back to plague us until such a time as there has been inner and spiritual healing. Tell me this, do you want to affect someone’s future negatively? I don’t think so. None us likes to hurt others and most times we do it unknowingly. It’s important to know that your words very well could create devastation in someone’s life. The second scenario is saying things about someone when they are not present. I can promise you this does affect how the people you are speaking about are treated. It will cause the person you are talking to to think differently about that person. I can remember hearing from someone about a lady who was supposed to be very irritable and when I had to deal with her I would approach her with my guard up. This lady wasn’t irritable; she had just been through some difficult times. Remember, you paint a picture about someone with your words, so look for the qualities that are good and paint a masterpiece for each person. My grandma always said, “If you have nothing nice to say about someone, don’t say anything at all.” I challenge you to take it further and find the positive in everyone and paint that picture for them.Remember this: the Bible says we will be judged as we judge others. So are the things you are saying about others what you want said about you?
“Talk Time”
Mother’s Question: Where have you judged and maybe need to repent (there may be something your daughter needs to hear)?
Daughter’s Question: Same as Mom: Where have you judged and maybe need to repent (there may be something your mom needs to hear)?
Agreement: We (your signatures) ______________ & ______________ agree to look at ourselves for what to improve and not to look at others as to what we think they need.
Prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, show us how to not judge, how to be compassionate and to leave the changes up to you. Amen.
The Right to Wear White is going to the Philippines in 2012 and we need your help to get there! This will be our first ever international retreat and we’re busy raising funds to make it possible. There are two ways to contribute:
OR
Please keep us in your prayers as we prepare to take this huge step in our ministry!
Some exciting new happenings in our ministry:
Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder.
You are beautiful in His sight!
The Right to Wear White is a grace-filled, volunteer-driven, non-profit ministry devoted to the Biblical teaching of sexual purity. Please visit our mission statement page to learn more about us and what we do. Our ministry centers around our annual mother-daughter retreats. Click here for more details.
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